A Rant… Grrrr…
I opened my laptop this morning and ran my eye down the emails that had arrived overnight. Two lovely letters from readers. Some pictures of my granddaughter from Australia. A couple of invitations to join online casinos and other spam.
And an email from Amazon. I clicked it open…
This is what it said:
“Hello,
We’re writing to let you know that at least one of your readers has reported some problems within your book, and we have confirmed the issue. There are typos in your book.”Typos? What typos? ‘Two Old Fools on a Camel’ is on the New York Times bestseller list this week, and nobody has ever mentioned any typos before. Moreover, Joe and I are both trained proofreaders, but we’re not content with that. We also pay to have every book professionally proofread. Bewildered, I read further…
“You can see examples of this error at the follow location(s): Kindle Location :1944”
They went on to say that I should unpublish ‘Two Old Fools on a Camel’, correct the typos and re-publish.
This is the offending Location 1944, and every spelling is intentional!
There are NO TYPOS!
‘Two Old Fools on a Camel’ is about teaching 10 year old Arabic kids English in the Middle East. All the spellings are quotes, and intentional.
So I wrote back to Amazon, telling them that the spellings are NOT “typos”, they are an important part of the book showing the students’ poor grasp of English.
Will I be making any changes? No. Will I be unpubishing ‘Camel’? No.
I’ll keep you posted with Amazon’s reply which I await with interest…
Kiersten
May 21, 2013 @ 1:52 pm
Ha love it, some people just don’t get it do they, wonder why they bother reading sometimes.
Wren Murray
May 21, 2013 @ 2:00 pm
Really, are readers that thick that they don’t realise your intentions? If there were no spelling mistakes then why would you take the time to quote the students’ answers?
It is outrageous that Amazon failed to check the sections themselves first. I have found typos and mistakes in nearly ALL of the Harry Potter series. There are very few books out there these days that are perfect. Why pick on yours when it’s so obviously intentional?
Victoria Twead
May 21, 2013 @ 2:08 pm
Well, I’ve just had a reply from Amazon – although I doubt it’s from a human… 🙁
Massimo Marino
May 21, 2013 @ 2:19 pm
Would be hilarious if it was not tragic. In a book (trad published) I’m reading now I found 9 typos (real ones) in the first 100 pages. The book is on Amazon too also as ebook. Maybe I should point that to Ammy too !
Let us know how it goes, Victoria, ’cause I too have a deliberate ‘typo’ in one of my novel, although the MC there comments about the typo in his rumination, so it is evident it is part of the story. This said, it looks like a vendetta from someone. Maybe some you refused a 5 star for mediocre grammar understanding? Anything is possible.
All the best.
Massimo
sue
May 21, 2013 @ 2:20 pm
And this is why we still need Book Shops, remember them? Those wonderful places where you browsed and smelt the literature. Wake up Amazon.
Wendy Bateson
May 21, 2013 @ 2:33 pm
I bet it was a machine that recognized the “typos” in the first place! Maybe some human intervention will be provided by their quality team, unless they are just smarter computers! Good luck with this crazy situation.
Tottie Limejuice
May 21, 2013 @ 2:35 pm
Still ROFLMAO!! 🙂 Only Amazon, eh? When I trained as a journalist we were taught always to read right through something first before starting to make corrections just in case any errors you thought you spotted were intentional as part of a “spot the deliberate mistake” competition.
I can understand readers getting hold of the wrong end of the stick. I had one review for Sell the Pig comparing my story to Grand Designs with its “missed deadlines”. We didn’t actually have any deadlines, therefore we didn’t miss any. But one would, naively, think Amazon might just check for themselves first before contacting you.
Still, it did give me a great chuckle on a cold and wet day 🙂
Rosie Luchini
May 21, 2013 @ 2:37 pm
Or was their communication regarding the spelling of ‘practice’, which, as it is a verb, should have been spelled ‘practise’?
Victoria Twead
May 21, 2013 @ 2:46 pm
Rosie – I write British English and I believe ‘practice’ is correct in this case. Now you’re making me doubt myself… 🙁
Rosie Luchini
May 21, 2013 @ 2:50 pm
Sorry, Victoria. I’m a British English teacher of 30+ years’ experience in secondary education, and the difference between practice and practise is that the first is the noun, and the second is the verb!
Victoria Twead
May 21, 2013 @ 3:14 pm
I think you are right, Rosie. My dictionary tells me it should be ‘practice’ for US spelling, and ‘practise’ for English spelling. *curls into small ball* However, the spelling Amazon pointed out in particular was ‘acros’ in the last line which was deliberately spelled wrong. 🙁
Rosie Luchini
May 21, 2013 @ 3:19 pm
Ah! Acros? Really? How bizarre! No comprehension of irony, obviously! 😉
Victoria Twead
May 21, 2013 @ 3:25 pm
Haha, and they missed ‘comperhension’, ‘Mees’, ‘eef’, ‘sheet’ and ‘various’… 🙂
4citytid
May 21, 2013 @ 2:56 pm
Sue, please unpublish and correct your typo. “Smelt” is a term used in the production of iron from iron ore.
Yours, Amazon inc.
(Lol)
Kimba
May 21, 2013 @ 3:03 pm
Are you kidding me? This is one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard. Now Amazon is in the proof reading business? By any chance did you talk to anyone at Amazon’s Author Central?
Victoria Twead
May 21, 2013 @ 3:08 pm
No, I didn’t, Kimba. I’m just going to wait for the next email, I think. 🙁
Carrie Compton
May 21, 2013 @ 3:25 pm
Oh my goodness!! Seriously? What are they thinking? Please keep us updated on Amazon’s ignorance. If we can do anything to help..like write to Amazon…please inform us. Sounds more like it came from Joe’s Genie LOL
Victoria Twead
May 21, 2013 @ 3:27 pm
LOL! 🙂
Sandy Barrett
May 21, 2013 @ 3:46 pm
Good grief what ever next and I think you will deserve at least an apology from Amazon at the end of this Victoria.
Jo-Anne
May 21, 2013 @ 4:40 pm
How bloody stupid can Amazon be. You had to have known that this was a quote from Fatima’s mother – “…….” !! This should not have been put on-line.
Carla Sarett
May 21, 2013 @ 5:02 pm
This is fairly hilarious exchange.
Rhonda @Laugh Quotes
May 21, 2013 @ 5:27 pm
{rolling eyes}} I read your updated reply in the comments, and I think that your original message was not verified by a human either. How annoying. Glad you can laugh about it, or at least we can laugh about it.
Joanna Kilroy
May 21, 2013 @ 5:34 pm
Amazon, shame on you! I can’t tell you how many real typos I’ve found in their e-books! Reading all the above comments taught me something new tho. After living in England for 4 years, reading British literature and watching BBC, I know most of the differences in usage and spelling of our American/British words–but I did not know about “practice”and “practise”. Always happy to learn something new!
Lin Middleton
May 21, 2013 @ 5:56 pm
Unbeleavible!! Can’t sey anyfing moore abowt eny of that:)
Seriously. It would make you cry if it wasn’t so funny. I am not sure why they do not understand the context in how it was written!
Anna Erishkigal
May 21, 2013 @ 6:20 pm
In -your- instance the complaint appears to be issued from a reader (perhaps jealous competition that you’re a best-seller?). But once it got flagged, Amazon would have run it through their automated spell check that is a bit beefier than the one run by MS word. Yeah … what got flagged was most likely it was a machine auto-vetter. I’ve got a lot of beefs with Amazon, but this isn’t one of them. They’re trying to improve the quality of their offerings as they’re aware most indies don’t have a ton of cash to hire professional editors and proofreaders and will promptly either fix and re-upload, or go in and click the ‘ignore these issues’ button. Don’t take it personally.
Tanya
May 21, 2013 @ 8:03 pm
ROLPMSL some people should not be allowed out
Maureen Forster
May 21, 2013 @ 11:40 pm
Obviously the complainant doesn’t really understand our language??!!! Could it have been Fatima’s mother?.!
OR someone jealous of ‘afternoon delight’!!!!! x
Alan
May 22, 2013 @ 1:52 pm
Ingish like wot she is spoke!
Pam
May 23, 2013 @ 7:41 am
And by the way, your book sounds great! I wanna read it!
Victoria Twead
May 23, 2013 @ 10:14 am
Thanks, Pam. 🙂
Pam
May 23, 2013 @ 7:42 am
Oops, sorry Amazon. I want to read it!
Victoria Twead
May 23, 2013 @ 6:17 pm
Update! Amazon replied:
Let’s hope that’s the end of this nonsense!
Char Crosby
May 24, 2013 @ 6:19 am
I just finished reading the ” Chickens ” book, and found it to be delightful. What an adventuresome couple! Thank you for sharing your imagination.
Victoria Twead
May 24, 2013 @ 10:31 am
Thank you, Char! 🙂
Ronald
June 3, 2013 @ 5:09 am
Wow. On the one hand I guess it’s nice that Amazon cares enough to do quality control, but they should employ people who actually know what they’re looking at.
Michael overma
June 30, 2013 @ 9:53 pm
Victoria
Worry not about the machinations of others after all my father always said ” There are more horses asses than there are horses! I suppose he would also include donkeys.
Keep on keeping on!
Mike
Crystal
September 15, 2013 @ 5:23 pm
Sorry to be a pedant – shouldn’t ‘practiced’ be ‘practised’. Practice is a noun and the verb, to practise, is spelt with an s.
Victoria Twead
September 15, 2013 @ 5:31 pm
Thank you, Crystal, and you’ll see that has already been pointed out and discussed in earlier comments above.
🙁